Trilogy

One
Me: We are eating fried rice
BY: F**K rice?
Me: No, FRIED rice.
BY: F**K RICE?
Me: NOT F**K RICE, FRIED RICE!!!
BY: F**K RICE!

Two
At the Better Toy Store in Takashimaya last friday, I accidentally stepped on your middle finger when you stumbled and fell on the floor.

BY: *concentrating on his hurt finger* Look mummy look! *shows me his middle finger*
Me: Ok ok!! * quickly wraps my hand over his*
BY: *why isn't mummy acknowleging my new discovery?* Look mummy look! *Shouting* I can point with this finger!

From the corner of my eyes, I see other mummies covering their kids' eyes. My god! Where can I hide? Maybe in the bookshop downstairs?

Three
In Kinokuniya - the quiet bookshop downstairs.

The boy wants to run the ramp. The mummy is carrying him. The boy struggles to get down. The mummy tightens her hold. Boy tries to push his mummy off with his hands. Fails. Suddenly boy decides to announce. "MUMMY! I PUSHED YOUR NIPPLES!"

He's not yet three! Where are those pills that I was given after childbirth? I need them now!!!!!!