Lately, I've been thinking about this "LOC / Lost of consciousness" episode.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've been meditating on (almost) a daily basis. The thing is, I'm suppose to lose my body and mind, watch my thoughts and hopefully in the process, get acquainted with 'the watcher'.
Now, if I want to use that fainting episode as a benchmark, then I need to be clear what happened. >>>
While I had no control over the shut down, I remember that in between the point when I realized I was propped up and not standing with my own legs till the time I was hauled to the car, I was actually conscious of what was happening. But at the same time, this consciousness was not accompanied by the body, nor was it accompanied by a thinking head.
I was just aware of what was happening. I had no control over the body, which I don't seem to know I had, nor was I wondering (with the mind) why I was being hauled by 2 people.
If my mind was working, it would have gone, "Oh shit! Not again!" But it wasn't... and so I didn't relate or make sense of what was happening.
If the body was mine, then the excruciating pain in my back should have been felt, but neither body nor pain was available to me then.
After a while, things did come back to me and the mind was the first to arrive. (Maybe that's tougher one to rid of?) But, I remember I felt like my brain had been washed and polished - the kind of feeling you get once in a blue moon when you wake up from your sleep with exactly the amount of rest that you needed... not one bit more or less, but exactly enough so that you feel extremely refreshed and alert.
Next was the body and similarly, it felt very rested and very new - good enough for the mind to be cheated into thinking that all's well.
Followed shortly, by the wretched nerves which came back to light me with their pain again.
So there, that was what happened and plausibly the only time I was conscious without body or mind...
... and if only I can achieve that state again during my meditation....
Someone hit my head!!!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
TV
The big one banned the small one from watching TV for a week on Sunday. The ban was communicated to the village. On Monday, we returned to see him watching TV in the village. The village head explained that the small one had petitioned on the logic that 'the ban was no TV, not no videos'. Not impressed, the big one handed down a tougher sentence, "No TV for 2 weeks! No Video and No Wii too!"
We watched Transformers together yesterday.
Movies on big screens ok it seems.
We watched Transformers together yesterday.
Movies on big screens ok it seems.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
GNC Women's Ultra Mega Dietary Supplement....
... "High potency vitamin and mineral formula designed for a woman's nutritional needs."
Hahahha!!! Plus it's vegetarian! Hair for sure won't drop due to malnutrition now. Yay!!!
Hahahha!!! Plus it's vegetarian! Hair for sure won't drop due to malnutrition now. Yay!!!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Abandoned.
I've not eaten any meat since the 29th of May. Even my mother has noticed it and ominously warned that my hair will start dropping off in clumps if I don't take any meat. Anyway, it's been a couple of weeks and enough time for lunch companions to notice too.
I was questioned why...
"Is it for health?"
"Is it for religion?"
... and I don't really have an answer for it.
I've flirted with it for ages, having not ate pork for years until the pregnancy cravings reversed that. Having nothing but Yong Tau Fu ( the ones that had very little meat in them ) or claypot vege for months while in uni and so forth. But somehow, I'd end up eating some meat, some of the time. The totality of not eating any meat at all was never there.
At least not until now.
It's been 2 odd weeks. I don't know if this thing will be permanent. But this time round, it's feels different. It feels like I'm not running away from meat... but that meat abandoned me.
I thought it might be difficult to avoid it... but it's actually been quite easy. Because when meat abandons you, even staring at it doesn't stir up any emotions. There's neither disgust nor cravings. You look at it and see other people eat it and it's left as that.
Soya bean milk anyone?
I was questioned why...
"Is it for health?"
"Is it for religion?"
... and I don't really have an answer for it.
I've flirted with it for ages, having not ate pork for years until the pregnancy cravings reversed that. Having nothing but Yong Tau Fu ( the ones that had very little meat in them ) or claypot vege for months while in uni and so forth. But somehow, I'd end up eating some meat, some of the time. The totality of not eating any meat at all was never there.
At least not until now.
It's been 2 odd weeks. I don't know if this thing will be permanent. But this time round, it's feels different. It feels like I'm not running away from meat... but that meat abandoned me.
I thought it might be difficult to avoid it... but it's actually been quite easy. Because when meat abandons you, even staring at it doesn't stir up any emotions. There's neither disgust nor cravings. You look at it and see other people eat it and it's left as that.
Soya bean milk anyone?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Learn to fail
I think this is something very important and not taught enough in Singapore. Which is - How to fail!
No one is allowed to fail in our society! We are taught from a young age that if you fail in your studies, you will be a failure for the rest of your life! That you will never get good jobs, nice salaries... and ultimately, never enjoy a 'good life' - whatever that means.
Even the education system is such that you will be streamed away from failing. So for example, if you are no good with a particular science subject, never mind if you were good at a different science subject, most likely you'd be streamed into a class which offers you neither! There, no chance for failing!
And so, you learn not to take any chances, so long as there is a possibility that you might fail.
I did a very silly thing yesterday. Basically, what I did was to sent an invite to the whole entire population of staff based in Singapore - about 350 people and asked them to attend a presentation rehearsal. My Boss basically said, "F**K! THAT'S STUPID!!!"
Well well well... what do you do?
A. Call the Boss STUPID back
B. Cry
C. Admit that you have been STUPID
D. Argue
E. Quit
I chose C.
Anyway, I was thinking then how good it is to be able to crash down onto earth every once in a while. More importantly, how good it is to be able to walk away from the crash and just move on.
I'm not saying I'm a better failure here or being AH-Q about this but in these times, there are bound to be events that happen beyond your control, like losing your job.
And when you do lose a job - please don't hang around the crash site. Please pick yourself up and move on. Same with relationships, same with school, same with every aspect of life. Pick yourself up. Move on.
It's ok to FAIL!
Just remember never to define yourself by it.
No one is allowed to fail in our society! We are taught from a young age that if you fail in your studies, you will be a failure for the rest of your life! That you will never get good jobs, nice salaries... and ultimately, never enjoy a 'good life' - whatever that means.
Even the education system is such that you will be streamed away from failing. So for example, if you are no good with a particular science subject, never mind if you were good at a different science subject, most likely you'd be streamed into a class which offers you neither! There, no chance for failing!
And so, you learn not to take any chances, so long as there is a possibility that you might fail.
I did a very silly thing yesterday. Basically, what I did was to sent an invite to the whole entire population of staff based in Singapore - about 350 people and asked them to attend a presentation rehearsal. My Boss basically said, "F**K! THAT'S STUPID!!!"
Well well well... what do you do?
A. Call the Boss STUPID back
B. Cry
C. Admit that you have been STUPID
D. Argue
E. Quit
I chose C.
Anyway, I was thinking then how good it is to be able to crash down onto earth every once in a while. More importantly, how good it is to be able to walk away from the crash and just move on.
I'm not saying I'm a better failure here or being AH-Q about this but in these times, there are bound to be events that happen beyond your control, like losing your job.
And when you do lose a job - please don't hang around the crash site. Please pick yourself up and move on. Same with relationships, same with school, same with every aspect of life. Pick yourself up. Move on.
It's ok to FAIL!
Just remember never to define yourself by it.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Too Much Time
While I'm on a roll here, I'd thought I'd write about having "too much time" as well.
Again, this is a perception isn't it? There can never be a thing as "too much time" because Time in itself is not a matter. If something is not of matter, then it cannot exist in a quantifiable manner and therefore, cannot be expressed as such.
So why do people feel or think that they have too little time or too much time? Or worse, think that other people have too much time?
I think the keys to that are the words "feeling" and "thinking". It's just a perception.
Then how does one calculate Time if it is not quantifiable? Actually I don't know the answer to that question before I typed it out. But now that I've typed it and looked at it, I suddenly got the answer.
Time is just a human invention!
Look at the animals and nature, they don't need time to tell them when to see the doctor, when to pick up their children from school, when to flower, when to eat, when to die, when to snow, they just do their thing!
How lovely!
So there, if anyone tells you that you have 'too much time', tell them off! Ask them to calculate exactly how much is too much and then tell them your friend said that it cannot be quantified in the first place!
Hahahhahhahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Again, this is a perception isn't it? There can never be a thing as "too much time" because Time in itself is not a matter. If something is not of matter, then it cannot exist in a quantifiable manner and therefore, cannot be expressed as such.
So why do people feel or think that they have too little time or too much time? Or worse, think that other people have too much time?
I think the keys to that are the words "feeling" and "thinking". It's just a perception.
Then how does one calculate Time if it is not quantifiable? Actually I don't know the answer to that question before I typed it out. But now that I've typed it and looked at it, I suddenly got the answer.
Time is just a human invention!
Look at the animals and nature, they don't need time to tell them when to see the doctor, when to pick up their children from school, when to flower, when to eat, when to die, when to snow, they just do their thing!
How lovely!
So there, if anyone tells you that you have 'too much time', tell them off! Ask them to calculate exactly how much is too much and then tell them your friend said that it cannot be quantified in the first place!
Hahahhahhahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Free Time
If Time does not equal money, then what does Free Time mean?
Interestingly, Free Time or Leisure, has been defined by a psychology professor John Neulinger in the early 1970s. He defined it using three criteria:
The experience is a state of mind.
It must be entered into voluntarily.
It must be intrinsically motivating of its own merit.
Let's see… to make anything a leisure, we have to just decide ( state of mind) to engage willingly ( voluntarily) and enjoy the activity itself ( by it's own merit), without bothering about the results. i.e study without worrying about the grades.
So, then...
right...
what does this mean???
Anything can become LEISURE...??!?!
IS IT?
Interestingly, Free Time or Leisure, has been defined by a psychology professor John Neulinger in the early 1970s. He defined it using three criteria:
The experience is a state of mind.
It must be entered into voluntarily.
It must be intrinsically motivating of its own merit.
Let's see… to make anything a leisure, we have to just decide ( state of mind) to engage willingly ( voluntarily) and enjoy the activity itself ( by it's own merit), without bothering about the results. i.e study without worrying about the grades.
So, then...
right...
what does this mean???
Anything can become LEISURE...??!?!
IS IT?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Time = Money
On my way to work, I thought this was the most stupid thing. How could Time equal Money? For something A to be equal to something B , then that something B must also be equal to the something A. So, put it this way, if you exchanged 24 hours of your life for a million dollars, can you exchange a million dollars back for 24 hours of your life?
No.
So, Time does not equal to Money. And Money does not equal to Time.
End of story.
But wait! I Googled Time = Money and this hilarious "Knowledge, Power, Time, Work and Money Equations" popped up here. Enjoy!
Knowledge is Power
Time is Money
and as every engineer knows, Power is Work over Time.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5)
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the reader.
No.
So, Time does not equal to Money. And Money does not equal to Time.
End of story.
But wait! I Googled Time = Money and this hilarious "Knowledge, Power, Time, Work and Money Equations" popped up here. Enjoy!
Knowledge is Power
Time is Money
and as every engineer knows, Power is Work over Time.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5)
Now we've got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work over Money.
What this MEANS is that:
The More You Know, the More Work You Do, and
The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work Over Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the reader.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Interesting answer....
What is enlightenment?
'Kant answers the question quite succinctly in the first sentence of the essay: “Enlightenment is man’s emergence from his self-incurred immaturity.” ..... He continues that the immaturity is self-inflicted not from a lack of understanding, but from the lack of courage to use one’s reason, intellect, and wisdom without the guidance of another. Our fear of thinking for ourselves. He exclaims that the motto of enlightenment is “Sapere aude”! – Dare to be wise!"
Check out article here.
'Kant answers the question quite succinctly in the first sentence of the essay: “Enlightenment is man’s emergence from his self-incurred immaturity.” ..... He continues that the immaturity is self-inflicted not from a lack of understanding, but from the lack of courage to use one’s reason, intellect, and wisdom without the guidance of another. Our fear of thinking for ourselves. He exclaims that the motto of enlightenment is “Sapere aude”! – Dare to be wise!"
Check out article here.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
A secret ...
Before the age of maybe 14 or 15, I could do something which, in my friends' and their mother's eyes, was simply illogical.
This is what I could do - I could predict what scores they had before the results landed on their desks. So for example, I would say, "X, you scored 82 in your maths test and I scored 80."
I vividly remember that I had to collect my PSLE results a week later because my family was on holiday in New Zealand during the time the results were released. On the morning of the day the results were released, without seeing or hearing from anyone about how I did, I told my mother what I got.
Another incident. In my music school, I announced to the administrator what I got before walking in to the Principal's office to collect the results. "I passed! I got 117 and didn't get merit!", I remember saying. And similarly, I announced to the Principal when I met him, "I got 117. Right?". He was amused but I could tell he thought it purely a coincidence. Since it was confidential stuff, the administrator didn't know if I was right or wrong and so, I remember showing her the result slip before I left, saying to her, "See? I told you!"
One time, classmate of mine told her mother about it - and was asked to tell me that if ever should have this inspiration about 4D, that I should let her know immediately - you can guess now that I never did.
In each and every of those instances I made those 'predictions', I had no doubt that I would be right. I believed it totally. So to me, it wasn't really a prediction. It was just a fact.
Anyway, these numbers would come to me. I never had to think about it. Even if I did and thought about it, it would not appear. So for example, I couldn't tell myself to know what is my score for this test... it didn't work that way. It had to come to me and I just have to catch it.
It's only now that I finally understood clearly how this thing that I could do works. For it to become real, I had to have no doubt - and this is the reason why I lost it around the age of 15 or 16... I tried to make it happen (it didn't work this way as I've explained), and when it didn't, I started having doubts and when I started having doubts, I simply lost it.
When I say no doubt... it means that nothing in me - nothing in my entire being believed for even a moment that I would be wrong about it.
A personal mystery solved!
You can call me crazy now.
It's no longer a secret.
This is what I could do - I could predict what scores they had before the results landed on their desks. So for example, I would say, "X, you scored 82 in your maths test and I scored 80."
I vividly remember that I had to collect my PSLE results a week later because my family was on holiday in New Zealand during the time the results were released. On the morning of the day the results were released, without seeing or hearing from anyone about how I did, I told my mother what I got.
Another incident. In my music school, I announced to the administrator what I got before walking in to the Principal's office to collect the results. "I passed! I got 117 and didn't get merit!", I remember saying. And similarly, I announced to the Principal when I met him, "I got 117. Right?". He was amused but I could tell he thought it purely a coincidence. Since it was confidential stuff, the administrator didn't know if I was right or wrong and so, I remember showing her the result slip before I left, saying to her, "See? I told you!"
One time, classmate of mine told her mother about it - and was asked to tell me that if ever should have this inspiration about 4D, that I should let her know immediately - you can guess now that I never did.
In each and every of those instances I made those 'predictions', I had no doubt that I would be right. I believed it totally. So to me, it wasn't really a prediction. It was just a fact.
Anyway, these numbers would come to me. I never had to think about it. Even if I did and thought about it, it would not appear. So for example, I couldn't tell myself to know what is my score for this test... it didn't work that way. It had to come to me and I just have to catch it.
It's only now that I finally understood clearly how this thing that I could do works. For it to become real, I had to have no doubt - and this is the reason why I lost it around the age of 15 or 16... I tried to make it happen (it didn't work this way as I've explained), and when it didn't, I started having doubts and when I started having doubts, I simply lost it.
When I say no doubt... it means that nothing in me - nothing in my entire being believed for even a moment that I would be wrong about it.
A personal mystery solved!
You can call me crazy now.
It's no longer a secret.
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